


Steve Rogers (Extremely) Limited Adventures In Pet Sitting

by IronSwordStarShield (SweetFanfics)



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M, Pet Sitting, Romantic Epiphanies, Steve Rogers: Captain America America's Top Cop and Pet Sitter extraordinaire (no not really), at the worst possible time too, sometimes gossip can be an effective tool to get people thinking, steve rogers is so bad at feelings he's been out running his gay panic for around 15 years, steve's also been in love with tony for the same time but he didn't know it, sucks to be him cuz his gay panic caught up to him, this is purely for shits and giggles and feels, tony's been in love with steve forEVER
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 09:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20691506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/IronSwordStarShield
Summary: 5 times Steve Rogers was asked to pet sit one of his friends pets and the 1 time he has a romantic-existential crisis that's got nothing to do with pet sitting and everything to do with realizing his feelings for Tony at the worst possible time.





	Steve Rogers (Extremely) Limited Adventures In Pet Sitting

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back at that part of my life where I just don't give a flying rats ASS about canon anymore so like, I made the executive decision to NOT CARE whether or not Liho, Alpine, Chewie, Dr. Shapiro, and Lucky all 'existed' at the same time AT ANY POINT. I just went "fuck it, yes they do for the sake of my story, moving!" But cuz Dr. Shapiro is involved, that makes this based in the TS:IM run.
> 
> This idea sparked after seeing this tweet: https://twitter.com/ironvell/status/1170745954623983621 ("carol, tony, bucky and nat organizing playdates for their cats")
> 
> Also this originally was supposed to be this gen silly thing where I tortured poor Steve but in typical fashion not only did the damn idea grow legs and run away from me, but it also ran head first into the pool titled "LETS MAKE IT SHIPPY WHEEEEE!" so uh yeah. Enjoy?? 
> 
> PS- if I missed any tag lemme know

> Black Widow

When Natasha approached him for help, Steve had been all ears. When she’d told him, voice grim and determined, that she needed his help for a high-priority extraction mission for a valuable asset from Ukraine, Steve had immediately jumped to his feet and asked, “When do we leave?”

They’d been on-route to Ukraine within a few hours. The plan was simple. They were going to wait till nightfall, make sure the target apartment was secure, sneak in, and extract the asset. It was a bit more spy-ish than Steve’s usual style but this was Natasha’s op. Steve wasn’t going to be the one to butt in and tell her what to do, especially when she seemed to just need some brawn to help out. He was going to follow her lead, no questions asked. 

But when Natasha pulls a black kitten out from under a sofa, straightens up and said, “We’ve got it. Let’s go.” Steve just  _ has  _ to ask, “What the hell?” 

He points at the closed bedroom door, asking, “What about the asset?”

Natasha hefts the kitten higher in her arms. It was a pure black thing that merges perfectly into the jet-black of Natasha’s outfit. “We’ve got it.”

“The  _ cat  _ was the high priority asset?” Steve asks, utterly and completely dumbfounded. 

“Liho was, yes. I’d asked the lady next door to look after it but she left me a message saying she couldn’t anymore. So I decided I’d bring Liho back with me to America.”

_ Okaaayyy?  _ Why couldn’t she have gone through the legal, normal channels to do this? Why all the secrecy? Why didn’t Natasha bring a carrier or something to carry the cat? And above all...

“Why on Earth did you need  _ my  _ help to get the cat?” Steve asks, numbly following Natasha as she heads toward the front door. “You could have asked anyone else to help with this.” 

He knew he should have suspected something was up when Natasha had just pulled a key to the front door out of her outfit. (But he’d also thought she’d made a duplicate so...)

“Tony was going to help but Jacosta said he had work to do.” 

He winds up with a handful of wriggly curious kitten as Natasha closes the front door with her key. “So, I wasn’t even your first choice?”

“More like third to be honest. I went to James first but he was busy too.”

“Really feelin’ the love here, Natasha,” Steve jokes as she gestures for him to hand the dark kitten back.

She smirks in response, letting the kitten climb onto her shoulder. “If it makes you feel any better, there wasn’t anyone after you. Liho’s a runner. If he’d gotten spooked and ran away? You’re fast enough to chase him down and catch him.”

Steve winds up holding the kitten on the flight back, not entirely able to shake off the feeling that he’s been bamboozled. He’s apparently got Liho’s seal of approval on the matter because it falls asleep in his lap about five minutes after take-off.

* * *

> Bucky Barnes

“I really appreciate this Steve,” Bucky says as he closes the door behind him. “I’d ask one of my neighbors but one of ‘em gone on holiday and the other’s allergic to cats. And I don’t want Alpine to go hunting off on his own.”

“It’s no trouble,” Steve answers with an easy grin, looking around Bucky’s small apartment in search of the cat in question. “I’ve just gotta swing by every day to make sure he’s eaten, right?”

There’s beer cans lined up neatly at the end of the coffee table, which is littered with notes and files. Laundry is piled up on the two-man dining table, with an empty basket seated on the single chair. Bucky crosses him to pick up the laptop taking up a seat on the sofa before gesturing for Steve to sit down. It looks like Bucky’s made this place home. He’s even put some prints up on his wall. 

“Yeah. I did get one of those timed feeding devices but he managed to break it and pigged out on the food. Tony said he was going to make me one that’ll be totally unbreakable but it’s been a struggle. Al keeps figuring out ways to get to the food.”

The pair grin at each other at the thought of Tony Stark being outsmarted by a regular cat. But Steve’s happiness is tinged with a touch of blue; he hadn’t known that Tony and Bucky were on good terms. It shouldn’t be a surprise but... to know that Tony’s making things for Bucky’s cat it... it stirs longing and the tiniest bit of envy in Steve’s heart. There was a time where Tony would make all sorts of little trinkets and gadgets for him. But these days...

Shaking the sadness away, Steve looks around the living room. “Where  _ is  _ he anyways?”

“Hang on.” Bucky moves around the island dividing the living room and the kitchen. He ducks, rummaging in the cabinets before he stands up. There’s a bag of cat treats in his hands that he shakes firmly. 

A white streak darts out of the bedroom, followed closely by a familiar-looking black blur that has Steve’s eyebrows rising high. Liho winds its way through Bucky’s feet, yowling for its share of treats while Alpine nimbly hops on top of the counter and rises to his back feet to reach the bag Bucky’s holding up.

As Bucky feeds each cat a couple of the treats, Steve dryly asks, “Mind explaining why Natasha’s cat is staying with you? Sure there isn’t anything else you wanna tell me?”

“Stay outta my business, old man.” Bucky retorts easily, scrubbing a gentle hand over Alpine’s head as he munches on the biscuits. “You see me poking my nose into how you and Sharon are doing?”

Steve grimaces at that. He can’t help but lean back into his seat and petulantly muttering, “Nothin’ there to poke into these days.”

“Ouch,” Bucky says with obvious sympathy. “That bad huh?”

“I’d rather not talk ‘bout it.” Steve sighs. He looks back at Bucky, who is still shooting him a pitying look, while ignoring the fact that Liho is clambering up his leg like a monkey. Alpine meanwhile, keeps a sharp watch over the kitten. “Am I gonna hafta get more food if it's two of ‘em?”

“Na. I got everything ready for you.” Bucky plucks Liho off his thigh and resettles the kitten on his shoulder. “Come here, I’ll show you what you gotta do.”

* * *

Steve decides it’ll be simpler to just stay at Bucky’s. That way he can look after the apartment  _ and  _ the cats (and get some time away to sort his head out when it comes to Sharon and that whole messy situation). 

It’s easy enough looking after Alpine and Liho. They spend most of the time sleeping. They’re the ones who remind Steve it’s time to eat when they start yowling thirsty minutes before schedule. He’s an early riser but even doesn’t appreciate being woken up by a cat gently nipping his nose at 4:30AM.

All in all, they’re easy creatures to look after.

He just really wishes they’d stop thinking his ankles were toys or whatever. If he didn’t have super soldier healing, his ankles would be a bloody mess. While he’s on the subject of wishing, Steve  _ really  _ wishes Bucky had warned him that Alpine was a biter. Steve’s poor toes have been nipped on every morning by the hungry cat and that’s no way to wake up.

* * *

> Carol Danvers

Carol is a frazzled mess, tearing through her apartment like a dervish, grabbing things willy-nilly and stuffing them into her bag as she fires rapid-fire instructions for Steve, who dutifully notes them down in his journal.

“No matter what Chewie does, her meal times are set for 6AM, 2PM, and 10PM. She can’t have any treats other than organic ones. Don’t give her any fried food no matter how much she begs. Just don’t give her any human food actually. Don’t be tempted to give her milk, she’s lactose intolerant. She drinks a lot of water, so you’ll have to make sure she always has fresh water. Especially before you go to sleep.”

Chewie snoozes on top of her cat tree during this whole lecture, ignoring the whirlwind blowing through the apartment. She only looks up when Carol calls to her, letting out a sweet little “merp” when Carol flies up to pluck the orange cat out of her little hammock.

Steve smiles as Carol cuddles the cat, baby-talking to the feline. “You’ll be good, won’t you Chewie? Yes, you will! Yes, you will! Are you gonna miss me when I’m gone? Promise you’ll behave for Steve?”

The cat sleepily blinks her eyes up at Carol, tail swishing slowly. 

“Don’t worry about us Carol,” Steve says. “I’ve done this before for Bucky and Nat’s cats. Chewie shouldn’t be a problem.” He just has to follow Carol’s set schedule, make sure to play with Chewie to keep her stimulated, and not overfeed her (a lesson hard learned when Liho wound up puking her food all over Steve’s shoes).

Carol drops a quick kiss on Chewie’s head before gently dropping her onto the sofa. “I hope not but if anything goes wrong...”

“I’ll call Alpha Flight and tell you. After I’ve taken her to the vet,” Steve dutifully tells her.

With a grateful smile, Carol gives him a tight hug, grabs her bag, and heads out the door.

Chewie drops down the sofa and plonks down next to his feet, peering steadily up at him. Steve glances down with a little smile, “Guess it’s just you and me for the next week, bud.”

* * *

Chewie’s a delightful companion. She’s a lot more active than Alpine but not quite as much of an attention hog as Liho. But she’s definitely the most gluttonous cat Steve’s looked after, with the sharpest senses. 

Steve doesn’t understand it. She could be dead to the world but as soon as he’s taken one step into the kitchen, she’ll wake up and amble over to him, yowling/begging for food. He could be going to get a glass of water but she’ll still demand that he feed her.

“I know I’m feeding you enough,” Steve tells Chewie in despair, heart aching at her pleading cries. There’s something about the pitch and tone of her yowls that really makes Steve feel like a heel for not feeding her. “I’m feeding you more than Carol said I should too! I can’t give you more than that! What if you gain weight?”

“ _ Meeoowww _ !” Chewie demands.

The sound of it is so fucking pitiful, Steve caves and pours some food into her bowl. He half-orders and half-pleads, as Chewie happily chows down, “Don’t tell Carol, okay?”

* * *

“I really don’t understand where you’re putting all of this,” Steve muses as he lets Chewie have one of his french fries because there’s only so much resistance Steve has towards a cute cat. Especially when she’s climbed up into his lap and begs right in his face.

* * *

“ _ There is something wrong with your cat! _ ” Steve stops himself from yelling even though he really,  _ really  _ wants to yell because that’s the only sane reaction to have when  _ tentacles just fucking pour out of the mouth of the cat you’re pet sitting _ !

Through the static, he hears Carol gasp and ask, “What? What happened to her? Is she sick?”

“She’s got... she’s not...  _ she’s not a normal cat _ !”

More static from Carol’s end before she says in a low drawl, “Yes. And?”

“You  _ knew _ ?” Steve asks, peeking over the couch to see where the fuck Chewie is at. She’s apparently done eating, leaving nothing by sesame seeds on Steve’s plate, and is now bathing herself.

“Of course? I told you she’s a flerkin.” 

What the hell is a flerkin? “What the hell is that?”

“An alien basically.”

“ _ Why the hell didn’t you tell me your cat is a damned alien?”  _ Steve grinds through his teeth, both eyes locked on Chewie, who is serenely bathing herself in a nice patch of sunlight by the window.

Carol reiterates, “I’m pretty sure I told you that.”

“No, you  _ didn’t _ ! I found that out just ten minutes ago when she stole my burger out of my hands with her... her...  _ mouth-tentacles _ !” 

“Are you  _ sure  _ I didn’t tell you?”

“I’d have freaking written that down, Carol!” Chewie does a lazy stretch, hops off the dining table, and proceeds to curl into an unassuming ball of moderately harmful fluff in the center of the patch of sunlight that’s coming in through the window. 

“Sorry! Sorry! I could have sworn I’d told you that. Wait a second.” Carol’s apologetic tone shifts into suspicion. “Have you been feeding her human food?”

“No! Not at all.” Steve’s  _ so glad  _ Carol can’t see him right now or else she’d take one look at his guilty expression and know he’s lying. There’s no way she can call him out on his bullshit. 

“Because the only time he really steals food from you is if you fed him food in the first place.” 

_ Oops _ .

Steve scrubs a weary hand down his face and does  _ not  _ whine, “She kept begging for it, Carol. I couldn’t stand to listen to her! She sounded like she was in pain or something.”

There’s a beat before Carol starts sniggering. “Steve Rogers, you’re the worlds bigger softie.”

* * *

> Thor

“I refuse,” Steve flatly tells his old friend and he stands in front of his apartment building with an actual fucking pegasus standing behind him. “I can’t.”

Thor looks extremely put-out. “You helped Carol and the others with their pets.”

“ _ Cats _ . I helped them look after their  _ cats _ . Who were staying in their homes! Where the hell am I gonna keep a pegasus?” Steve gestures back up at his apartment. “I’ve barely got room in there for me much less a magical horse!”

Thor stares solemnly up at the apartment before grudgingly admitting, “Point taken.” 

* * *

> Clint

“Aw Lucky, no!” Clint groans on the other end of the phone when Steve inform him that Lucky’s chewed up his favorite pair of running shoes. As such, Clint now owes him a new pair of Nike shoes.

* * *

> Janet van Dyne

“I’m sorry to ask this but I’m at my wits end on who to ask for help. Everyone I’ve called is either busy or out of the country,” Jan’s frazzled voice comes through the speakers.

Steve frowns immediately. “I’ll help if I can. What do you need?”

“I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on Dr. Shapiro but I forgot that I’ve got a client appointment scheduled in like, two hours. And I can’t say no to them. I can’t leave Shapiro on his own or else Tony’s gonna-”

Steve shakes his head, rising to his feet. “No need to explain yourself, Jan. I’ll be happy to help. Just tell me when and where I gotta go.”

“You’re a saint, Steve,” Jan exhales. “I’ll text you the address.”

* * *

Steve shows up at a Stark Industry satellite office within thirty minutes. The smiling holographic receptionist gives him a guest ID as she gives him directions up to Dr. Shapiro’s office. As he watches the elevator numbers climb, Steve wonders what kind of person is Dr. Shapiro. Has to be someone awfully smart if Tony’s hired them. 

* * *

The last damn thing Steve expects when he steps into the office, is for  _ the cat  _ in the corner to declare, with extreme haughtiness, “I do not require a babysitter, Jan.”

Steve’s seems a lot of weird shit.  _ A lot  _ of weird shit. That includes dragons. But this just might be  _ the most  _ fantastical thing he’s ever witnessed (no offense to dragons everywhere but  _ that’s a talking cat! _ )

Jan rolls her eyes, “You absolutely need supervision. Your last experiment turned into a small fire and we had to evacuate the whole building!”

“An overreaction if there ever was on. We managed to set the fire out just fine.”

“And how many experiments got ruined when the sprinklers went off?” Jan asks tartly. Dr. Shapiro feigns ignorance and starts washing his face with his paw. Jan rolls her eyes before turning to Steve. “Just make sure he doesn’t blow anything up. And he’s not supposed to use his armor, no matter what he says.”

Steve does a genuine double take at that because. “His armor?”

Dr. Shapiro presses a few buttons on his terminal. A video pulls up of a cat-like mechanical armor that’s jumping off the walls avoiding lasers and spinning blades. “My armor,” the cat purrs with throarily delight, the green glass in his collar gleaming. “Isn’t it magnificent? Designed it myself.”

This is the weirdest day of his damn life.

* * *

He feels compelled to apologize to the cat? The doctor? The cat doctor once they’re alone. “I’m really sorry about this. If you want me to leave, I can just sit outside the office and let you do your work?”

Dr. Shapiro has a weird voice, in the sense that you’d expect a grown man to hav that voice, not a cat. It’s creating some severe cognitive dissonance in Steve’s poor brain. He keeps expecting to see a person on the stool instead of a fluffy white cat.

“I will admit, I’m galled by the fact that Tony thinks I need supervision but past records  _ do  _ indicate I create a mess when left to my own devices. Some of my feline instincts are harder to rein in than others. Can you please grab some chemicals from the shelf over there? The ones with the green caps.”

They fall into an easy pattern after that. Dr. Shapiro uses him as a gopher and an extra pair of hands, making him run all kinds of errands that he can’t do. The cat raises one paw up in demonstration, “No thumbs.” 

When he gets a spare minute, Steve texts his friends a picture of Dr. Shapiro peering into a microscope. He sends the picture to Sam, Bucky, Natasha... Steve really wants to send the picture to Tony and send a string of question and exclamation marks because how the hell did Tony manage to find and hire a talking cat? But he doesn’t...Steve hesitates every damn time.

He’s staring at his phone, wondering if he ought to send Tony the message, when Dr. Shapiro’s low voice cuts the silence, “Bad news, is it?”

Clever green eyes meet his when he looks up. “The way you keep checking your phone. Either you’ve received some bad news or you’re not sure how to share the bad news with someone else.”

Exhaling, Steve deletes the unsent message and tucks his phone back into his pocket. “Neither.”

The cat hums, turning to face Steve before it settles into a prim and proper seated position. “Forgive me if I don’t believe you. The indecisive way you’ve been fiddling with your phone for the past ten minutes has been incredibly distracting.”

“Sorry.”

Dr. Shapiro tilts his fluffy head. “If it wasn’t bad news, then what was it? What worries the great Captain America?”

Somehow, that surprises Steve. “You know who I am?”

“Of course I do.” Humor sparkles in the cat’s eyes when he says. “Hard not to know that. And Tony has several pictures of your hung up in his private office. It would be terribly remiss of me not to recognize you.”

Ah. It’s been so long since Steve’s felt that particular brand of embarrassment. It’s sweet and awkward to know that Tony’s still keeping his picture in his office. (He wonders if Tony’s built another memorial room in his new home, wherever it is. Or maybe it’s in this office? Or in the main Stark Industries office?). After everything they’ve been through, he didn’t think that Tony would grant him such an honor.

_ Or maybe you’re letting your ego get the better of you. I bet he’s got pictures of the rest of the Avengers there too.  _ A voice sternly points out and they’re right. Steve bets that they’re right. So he smiles wanly. “Is that right?”

“It is.” Dr. Shapiro’s tail swishing gently from side to side, hanging off the stool. “I once asked him why he keeps your photos on his desk instead of family or lovers. Do you know what he said?”

Steve shakes his head.

Dr. Shapiro shows his teeth in a poor mimicry of a human grin. “He said that having you in his office, even if it was just a picture, kept him on the right path. Rather telling, wouldn’t you say?”

Being shot through the hurt would have hurt less. Steve lowers his gaze, pensive and uncertain. There was a time where knowing that Tony still feels guilty about everything that’s happened would have delighted him. But that was ages ago and Steve’s let go of his anger. He’d thought that... he’d thought that Tony was past the guilt of the war. Evidently not...

“He must keep some other pictures in his office too. Jan’s, probably. They’re dating now, aren’t they?”

Steve had seen pictures of their date. He’ll never admit the sharp green-tinged pang that’d pierced his heart when he’d seen the pictures of Tony and Jan puttering down a street on that little scooter. They made for a cute couple. And Tony deserves someone like Jan in his life (someone who loved him and wouldn’t hurt him [unlike himself...]).

“Interestingly, they broke up a few weeks ago.” Steve looks up in surprise, hating the way his heart leaps up in hope. Dr. Shapiro’s delicately sniffs a beaker before sneezing three times in a row. The cat rubs his paw over his nose, muffling his voice as he says, “Jan’s staying to help Jacosta with some other project but from what I understand, there were some irreconcilable differences.” 

“Like what?” Steve winces when he asks, “Don’t tell me she tried to kill him or something.”

Dr. Shapiro shoots him an odd look. “Of course not. According to the water cooler gossip, apparently Jan didn’t want to be second fiddle to whomever Tony still loves.”

“Ah.” Steve leans back in his chair, staring at his thighs. That’s got to be Rumiko. It has to be, right? The great love of Tony’s life. 

Dr. Shapiro pushes a new slide into its slot into the microscope. “Indeed. Mind you this is all third-hand information but I trust Aisha, who overheard them arguing in Tony’s office. Jan kept insisting that Tony needed to “make up” with the person he still loves before it was too late “again.” Tony kept insisting that it was already too late and that person hates him but Tony’s a sensitive heart. I imagine he’s overreacting.”

_ Is that...could it be... was Tony talking bout ... me?  _ Steve’s heart holds its face and tries to hold down a panicked but also hopeful yell because... that could be him... right? Maybe?

Dr. Shapiro stands up at full height to peer into the microscope. His tail swishing from side-to-side in keen interest. “Hmm, interesting. Steve, please get the reagent in the blue bottle with the black cap.”

* * *

> +1 - The Unfortunately Timed Romantic Epiphany

Steve swings between intense hope and deep melancholy for the new few days as he muses over the little piece of gossip Dr. Shapiro’s shared with him. He’s ashamed to say he focuses more on who Tony was talking about more than the fact that him and Jan broke up. It’s natural, right? To be curious about that? To wonder if maybe it was him they were talking about?

A couple of days later, TMZ breaks the news that Jan and Tony have broken up. 

He listens to the report with a wince, hating the way these people find people’s lives a tawdry source of entertainment and views. Don’t they have a shred of decency? 

Steve pauses mid-sip when the girl on his tablet grins, shark-like and delighted, “According to the anonymous source, the pair broke up after a pretty loud argument.” How in the name of hell had they found out about  _ that _ ?

The co-anchor asks, “Do we know what the argument was about?”

“That apparently Tony Stark is in love with one of his team mates. A very prominent Avenger that he’s known for a long time. It’s also someone Tony’s had a falling out with.”

“Spicy stuff,” the co-anchor replies while Steve wonders if the world is tilting to the left or if it’s just him. “Don’t suppose they shared a name?”

“They didn’t. They just said that Tony  _ and  _ Jan knew who this Avenger was. We can only speculate as to her identity.”

“There’s quite a few people who Tony’s had a falling out with, the most prominent being Captain America.” They run a clip of them fighting in the street during the civil war in the top-right corner and Steve feels his appetite leaving for the day. Yep, it’s out the door and gone.

Maybe he should follow suit...

* * *

Steve winds up wandering around Manhattan, hands in his jacket pocket and brooding gaze stuck to the sidewalk while his mind runs around in circles. Who  _ is  _ Tony’s mystery love? It can’t be him. Tony’s never ever indicated he might think of Steve like that. But then there’s all the times he’s pulled such epicly stupid shit for Steve’s sake, to protect him. There’s the silly nicknames like ‘beloved’ and ‘captain handsome’. Every damn time Tony went out of his way to accommodate Steve and his requests. 

But then Tony’s a notorious flirt. He opened his home to the Avengers way before Steve came into the picture. He’s put his life on the line for other people as well. In fact, doing epicly stupid, self-sacrificial shit is very on brand for Tony. And he’s always bent over backwards to help his friends.

It has to be someone else. Natasha maybe? Wanda? Bobbi? Or maybe that bit was a total lie. Dr. Shapiro hadn’t mentioned the Avengers bit in their talk so maybe it was a complete fabrication on part TMZ. Or maybe Dr. Shapiro hadn’t known about that part? 

Steve kicks a crumpled brochure out of his path with a scowl. Why is he letting this get to him? Who cares who Tony still loves? What’s that got to do with him? They’re not even on speaking terms these days. They’re barely friends.

_ And that hurts,  _ a voice gently points out from somewhere near Steve’s heart.  _ It’s always hurt you when you’re not in Tony’s inner circle, when you don’t have his trust. You wish it was you because you want to know that Tony still cares. That’s always been the thing that hurt the most when it came to Tony. You always wanted him to be on your side. Whenever he wasn’t, you thought it was because he didn’t care about you.  _

_ Wasn’t that the whole thing about the civil war too? You always thought that Tony fought because he stopped caring. We never thought it was because Tony cared  _ too much  _ about us.  _ Steve scrunches his nose, not sure how much he believes  _ that _ . It’s hard to accept that Tony’d done what he’d done because he’d wanted to protect the rest of them.... Just... it’s a hard fact to accept.

_ Still can’t be me. Tony’s straight. _

_ Then explain all the flirting. _

_ He flirted with everybody _ !

Round and round his thoughts ago, like a hamster spinning a wheel. His frustration builds and builds until he feels ready to burst. Giving up, Steve turns around and heads for Bucky’s place. He needs an objective (enough) third-party opinion before he loses his mind. Hopefully Bucky can help.

* * *

Steve raps on Bucky’s door and waits, smiling faintly when he hears Bucky say, “Get the hell outta my feet Alpine! I’m gonna trip and break my neck one of these days.”

“That’s why I said you need to train him better,” Steve says before Bucky even has the door open, well-aware that Bucky can hear him.

The door clicks open and he meets Bucky’s unamused glare. “There’s limits to that shit with cats. Plus, I think he’s an asshole who just enjoys messing with people.”

Alpine sits by the doorway and peers innocently up at Steve.  _ I could do no wrong, ever _ , the cat seems to imply with his body language. If Steve didn’t know what Alpine’s personality was like...

With a slight head shake, Steve opens his mouth to ask for Bucky’s help but he catches the sound of conversation coming from deep in Bucky’s apartment. Two women, Carol and Natasha from the sounds of it. His question goes from “I need your help” to “You got company over?”

Bucky nods, gesturing for Steve to walk in before he closes the door. “Cat playdate. Carol thinks Chewie needs more friends.”

“Er,” Steve hesitates a moment. “But... it’s an alien? How is it...?”

““I didn’t ask. So long as it doesn’t eat my cat, my food, or Liho’s food, I’m fine with it.” 

Steve supposes that’s fair enough. Leaving Bucky to hang the jacket up, Steve asks, “Just the three of you then? That’s gonna be interesting. I bet Liho’s not having fun.” Liho, like her owner, isn’t too fond of new people and gets massively terrorial.

“Tony’s gonna come too with his cat” Steve freezes mid-step, hoping he just misheard Bucky. But Bucky walks past him, talking away. “Well, not  _ his  _ cat but a cat? He said the cat is an employee but I can’t tell how serious he was about that. Never can tell with him. I hope it’s a real employee, that’d be something.”

“He is,” Steve weakly answers, wondering if it’s not too late to beat a hasty retreat. Tony’s could show up any minute now and Steve’s not sure if he’s ready to face the man. He’s not sure what he’ll say or do. “He can talk too.”

“The cat can talk?” Bucky asks, shooting Steve a confused glance over his shoulder. The look quickly shifts to the front door, where a sharp little rap sounds. 

_ Oh no _ , Steve’s heart moans.  _ I’m not ready for this _ .

He can hear Dr. Shapiro’s deep voice grumbling that this will be far beneath his intellectual level. Tony’s low tone reassures him that if he wants to leave at any point, he’s just gotta say the word. “What’s the worst that can happen? You’ll make some new friends?”

“Unlikely,” Dr. Shapiro sighs as Bucky opens the door. 

Steve feels frozen in place, mind scrambling in three different directions at the same time; he wants to pretend that nothing’s wrong at all, wonders when was the last time him and Tony met, and wants to jump through the nearest window to escape this awful gut-twisting nervous energy that’s crawling up his spine.

Under Bucky’s arm, Steve catches sight of the dark-haired, blue-eyed man and feels something unravel and clench up at the same time. Tony’s leaner than he remembers. Still got the mustache. He’s got a pet leash lazily draped over his arm that leads down to a fluff behemoth of a cat that’s wearing the ugliest damn collar Steve’s ever seen. There’s clunky and then there’s  _ that _ .

“You’re late, Stark,” Bucky is saying.

“Barely,” Tony scoffs, slipping his sunglasses off and hooking them into his shirt collar. He’s dressed simply, jeans and a turtleneck. He gestures down at the cat, “This is Dr. Shapiro, by the way. PhD in electrical engineering, dual masters in computer sciences and electrical engineering, and he loves all things tuna.”

“Mr. Barnes,” Dr. Shapiro greets, bowing his head slightly. Green eyes slide past Bucky and find Steve’s startled gaze. His fluffy tail sways with delight. “Mr. Rogers! What a surprise.”

He catches the jolt that runs through Tony out of the corner of his eye. It’s this twitch, a  _ zing  _ that goes through Tony from the feet up. He’s caught Tony off guard. Mouth dry, Steve runs his gaze up Tony’s figure, taking in the fitted cut of his pants, the snug waist, and the velvet blazer, until he meets surprised blue eyes. 

_ He looks good _ , a voice provides somewhere past the static fogging up his brain. 

Steve feels his lips turning up at the corners. “Hey Tony.” He meant to say that firmly but gently. But instead it comes out as this shy, uncertain greeting that transforms the surprise in Tony’s eyes to something nebulous and uncertain as well.

“Steve. It’s... Hi. What’re you doing here? Bucky didn’t say-” He turns to shoot Bucky a mildly wounded look, like he can’t believe Bucky kept this from him.

But Bucky is quick to hold his hands up, palms out. “I didn’t invite him. He just showed up. And he didn’t say why either.”

Two pairs of blue eyes turn to him, Dr. Shapiro temporarily forgotten. Steve’s stomach clenches and twists itself into knots. He can’t talk to Bucky about...so what should he say? What won’t raise any alarms?

Forcing his smile to grow, Steve answers. “I just... wanted to drop by and see how you were.”  _ Please back me up, please back me up. Don’t say that I don’t usually do that,  _ he silently yells at Bucky while holding his gaze. “But if you guys are busy then I’ll leave you be.”

A peculiar emotion flits over Tony’s face. Disappointment maybe? Maybe anger? But it comes and goes too fast for Steve to see. What he  _ does  _ see and understand after that is Tony’s practiced smile. The sight of it makes something catch in Steve’s throat. He’s never... Tony’s never given  _ him  _ that fake smile before... 

“I’ll introduce Dr. Shapiro to the others. You guys can...” He elegantly gestures between them before he turns to the cat at his feet, who appears bored by the whole affair. “Ready to meet the others?”

“I’m on the edge of my seat,” Dr. Shapiro drawls. 

The lump in his throat grows as Tony brushes past him, taking care not to let any part of them touch. Steve watches Tony go, one hand rising up to reach out and stop Tony and ... and do what? His fingers curl into themselves. He feels lost at sea in the middle of a storm. Maybe his relationship with Tony is worse than he’d realized. He’d hoped... he’d  _ assumed  _ that they were still on talking terms. But it seems like maybe that’s not what Tony’s interested in...

Maybe... Maybe after everything that’s happened, everything that’s been said and done... Tony just doesn’t want to be his friend anymore. The thought of that, once upon a time, would have been welcome. But now... Steve just feels lost and hurt. Rejected. 

“Not that I wanna butt into you guys’  _ drama  _ but what the hell was that?” Bucky asks.

“That?” Steve asks dumbly, not exactly sure what Bucky’s referring too honestly because that can mean...  _ a lot  _ of things right now.

Bucky waves his hand between Steve and down the hallway, where they can hear Tony greeting the girls. “ _ That _ . Tony suddenly switching on his persona and then acting like you’re carrying the plague. I thought you guys weren’t pissed at each other.”

“That’s what I thought. Maybe he’s still mad at me...” Steve mumbles the last part, feeling epicly crummy that he hasn’t made more of an effort to reach out to Tony to make amends if that’s the case. His Ma always said that sometimes his pride made him miss the obvious.

Bucky shakes his head with a deep frown. “He wasn’t ever  _ that  _ mad at you. He got upset just now.”

“Upset?” He shoots Bucky a confused look. “What would he get upset about?”

“You’ve known him longer. You tell me.”

There was a time where Steve could have answered that question confidently and have been right. He’d known Tony so well. But that was before so many betrayals, so many secrets, so many arguments. Their relationship had changed right in front of him and he’d never realized what was going on: that him and Tony had been pushing each other away instead of coming back together. 

This Tony, in the painful now... he’s a stranger to Steve. “I don’t know.” The admission cuts, each word a razor blade cutting into his flesh. At Bucky’s raised eyebrow, Steve defensively says, “I really don’t! I don’t know what’s going on with him anymore!”

Bucky pulls a disbelieving face but he thankfully doesn’t push. “Maybe he’s upset about him and Jan. Did you hear they broke up?”

Irritation creeps up his spine. “Yeah.” 

“They’re saying they broke up ‘cuz he loves someone else.”

“Yeah.”

“Any idea who?”

“No.”

There’s a pause before Bucky asks, sounding more confused than curious now, “Why’re you so pissed about that?”

“I’m  _ not _ pissed about it,” Steve grinds out.

Bucky’s face twists in disbelief. “Try again, Steve. You look like someone pissed in your cereal. Why’re you so mad about this?”

“I’m  _ not _ pissed that Tony-” Steve abruptly stops, realizing with a hot flush that he’s starting to yell. Lowering his voice into a hiss, Steve starts again, “I’m not mad about Tony’s break up! I’m not!” 

But Bucky ignores him, narrowing his eyes instead to ask, “Are you mad at Jan then? Or whoever the mystery person is Tony’s supposedly in love with?”

Steve’s fingers  _ itch  _ with the desire to hit something. Maybe the nearest concrete wall. If he can’t find that, then Bucky’s wall is going to fall victim to his irritation. Bucky’s blue eyes widen in surprise. “Is that it?  _ That’s  _ what’s got you pissed? Why the hell for?”

He’s got two choices. He can either stick to his guns and insist that that’s not it. Or he can confide in his best friend, as planned, and get some perspective on this. Steve hesitates for a moment, not sure what’s the better call when Bucky steps forward, concern painted all over his face. “Talk to me Steve. What’s going on?”

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” Steve admits, voice cracking slightly at the end.

Bucky’s voice is low and soothing, utterly lack of judgement. “About what?”

Deeper in the apartment, Tony laughs at something Alpine does and Steve feels his stomach twist in misery. “Who Tony’s in love with.” A warm hand squeezes his shoulder. Steve turns into the comforting touch, peering into Bucky’s pale blue eyes. “What if...”

Something in Steve buckles. It just gives under the weight of something he’s been denying himself, avoiding looking directly at. He’s been circling it since Dr. Shapiro broke the news to him. One could argue, he’s been circling it since his early days of friendship with Tony but had been categorically refusing to acknowledge even its existence. 

Steve tiredly scrubs his eyes, wanting the burning sensation to go away  _ please _ because why now? Why  _ now _ ? Why did this epiphany even come to him much less  _ now _ ? 

“What if it’s you?” Bucky completes his question with such painful gentleness that the ruins left inside Steve tremble. 

He finds himself shaking his head, bottom lip caught between his teeth to keep his hurt noise at bay because no... “What if it’s  _ not _ ?” Steve whispers. 

The  _ surprise  _ that flashes in Bucky’s eyes has what little that’s left in Steve’s heart wither in the cold. Is it that weird? Didn’t people use to joke about them being the mom and dad of the avengers? How many news outlets had speculated about their relationship? Surely this can’t be  _ that  _ much of a surprise? (Then again, he’s been avoiding this particular revelation for just under 15 years so... maybe he shouldn’t be judging Bucky right now.)

“I didn’t...think you liked him like that.” Bucky says haltingly. His hand tightens minutely on Steve’s shoulder before relaxing. “You never said anything.”

“I never realized. I never thought about it.”

Something crashes followed by Liho yowling angrily. Bucky’s eyes dart over Steve’s shoulders, narrowing faintly before they come back to Steve. “What’re you gonna do? I mean. Are you gonna tell Tony how you feel?”

“I don’t...” The rest of his sentence collapses in on itself, creating a lump in his throat that steals his breath away. He may have only  _ just  _ realized his feelings but Steve doesn’t see why he  _ should  _ tell Tony. Things are already so messed up between them. And the odds of Tony liking him back are slim to none because if there was ever a chance that Tony  _ did  _ like him? Steve probably smashed that chance to pieces with his own hands years ago. “I don’t think I can.”

“Why the hell not?”

Steve’s body jerks; his body processes the fact that the question came from behind him faster than his brain does and twists around to look. Straight at Tony, who is standing a couple of feet away, at the end of the short hallway, face stricken and pale. His own stomach falls, through his feet and straight down into the ground. Panic rises in Steve like a swelling wave and threatens to drown him when Tony walks up to him. Steve doesn’t realize he’s taken two steps back until his back hits Bucky’s shoulder and he steadies him with both hands. 

The urge to evaporate intensifies when Bucky just as quickly steps away, saying, “I shouldn’t be here for this conversation.” and leaves Steve to the metaphorical wolves. 

He wants to reach out and stop Bucky from leaving him alone in this God awful situation. This is the worst time to reach an epiphany and to have it compounded by having the subject of his romantic revelation confront him like this? Steve would rather take on all of HYDRA, butt naked and without any weapons. 

What steadies him is Tony’s eyes. Sure there’s still shock in those cornflower blue eyes but there’s also so much uncertainty. Tony looks like he’s expecting someone to pull the rug out from under him any second now. It’s reassuring to know that they both feel like they’re on unsteady ground.

Swallowing harshly, Steve mumbles, “You weren’t supposed to hear any of that.”

“You weren’t ever going to tell me how you felt so maybe it’s a good thing I did come in just there.” Tony retorts. A part of Steve wants to smile because look at them. All this time apart, all the hurt between them, but Tony still knows him so well. It’s like fuel to the fire in his heart, which flickers against the dark when Tony steps forward and quietly asks, “Do you really have feelings for me?”

Steve loses all his strength; he finds himself incapable of voicing his admission in the face of Tony’s soft inquiry. But from somewhere deep inside of him, Steve finds enough courage to give the tiniest of nods.

“Since when?” There’s something so terribly  _ anguished  _ in those two words that Steve feels his heart shrivel in pain. Steve’s eyes drop down between them. Tony’s probably an arm’s length away but it may as well be miles between them.

With a small shake of his head, Steve admits, “I dunno. I never... let myself think about... you. Us. Like  _ that _ . I... I only  _ just... _ ”

Fuck. Why can’t he string one fucking sentence together? Why’s everything going all hazy? When did the temperature suddenly drop? Steve sucks in one breath, two, three but they don’t help. He reaches up to touch his throat but something warm and soft catches his hand.

“Steve? Are you okay?” 

Blinking helps reduce some of the black spots dancing in front of his eyes, just enough for Steve to come eye-to-eye with Tony’s worried eyes. And again, something cracks in Steve. If the first break was like a ceiling collapsing, this one is the rest of the structure collapsing; he can’t hide behind his denials anymore. 

Helplessly, Steve raises Tony’s hand, which is clasping his own, up to his forehead and whispers, “I think I’ve been in love with you this whole time but I never let myself see it. I kept making excuses. Kept refusing to see what was right there in front of me because... because...”

Tony’s fingers tighten minutely around his own. “Because?” 

“I was scared.” 

Steve looks up into Tony’s piercing gaze and finds something to cling to in the middle of the storm. The  _ noise  _ his confessions pulls from Tony unravels the tangled mess in Steve’s chest. It’s like Tony’s hurting  _ for him _ . He tries not to hide his face into the warm palm that comes up to cup his face and Steve almost loses that battle. Instead, he allows himself to let go. To allow himself his moment of vulnerability because this is Tony. He’s shown Tony the best and worst parts of him and Tony’s still here. 

The thought gives him courage but hasn’t that been the one consistency in his life? Tony’s always been there. Even when things got so fucking awful between them, Tony had still been thinking about him. About protecting him and the rest of them (Tony’s tendency to think he knows what’s best for them is a fight for another day honestly).

Tony’s palm cups his jaw with so much tenderness you’d think Steve was made of glass. “You  _ are  _ notoriously bad about your feelings,” Tony says, with the tiniest hint of good humor that pulls Steve’s lips up. “Can’t say I’m surprised you successfully ignored your own gay feelings for a decade.”

“Tony,” Steve chides, taking hold of Tony’s free hand and squeezing it. “Please don’t tease me. Not about this.” Now they’re holding hands and Steve feels as giddy and terrified as a school boy confessing his love to his first crush. He doesn’t mind being teased but Steve doesn’t want Tony changing the topic either. 

“Why were you scared?

Curiosity burns in Tony’s eyes. Steve gets the foreboding sense that a lot rests on his answer, their entire future perhaps. It’s a lot of pressure. As much as he prides himself on being a brilliant tactician, Steve doesn’t know what to do about this whole situation. So he shrugs helplessly. 

“I thought everything would change.”

Tony’s hand is so  _ warm _ , their grip is  _ tight  _ on Steve’s fingers when he asks, “Has it? Has it really?”

“Well,” Steve smiles, wry amusement warming him up. Is it his imagination or is Tony’s hand  _ too  _ warm? “It’s too soon to tell.”

He watches Tony swallow, expressive eyes turning away from Steve’s fond gaze momentarily. Steve feels the silly urge to crouch down enough to see what’s going on in Tony’s head. But instead he makes himself wait. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait long. One deep breath, two, three, and Tony’s looking back up. 

Steve gets a second to process the frenetic energy burning in Tony’s eyes before Tony’s grabbing him and kissing him. 

Every damn brain cell he’s got goes up in flames. Tony’s mustache tickles his upper lip. Tony’s hands are hot and tight on his biceps. Tony’s thin lips are  _ soft _ . Tony’s blows a breath out through his nostrils that sends shivers racing down Steve’s spine. Tony’s chest is right up against his. Tony’s knees are knocking against his. There’s just Tony, Tony, Tony.

And then Tony pulls back.

Struck dumb, Steve stares at the other man as he asks, voice rough, “What about now?”

“What about now what?” Steve asks because.... Because? He doesn’t know! His brain stopped working like, ten seconds ago! The fact that he’s able to string words together is a miracle in and of itself, okay? 

Tony’s grip relaxes slightly on Steve’s biceps. God... has Tony always run so hot? This is life changing information for some reason. Has his smile always been so tender and sweet? How much has Steve been preventing himself from seeing?

“Did I break you?” Tony asks amused. 

Steve blinks, thinks about it, and nods. “A little bit.” 

“Can’t believe I broke Captain America...”

Some part of his brain comes back online and takes advantage of the fact that all the filters present on his brain-to-mouth connection are still offline. “Maybe you should take responsibility for that.”

Tony laughs. The soft, almost goofy little huff of air like he can’t make up his mind on whether to just go “heh” or a full “ha!” so it sounds like a rough drag of sound. Sad thing is that Tony knows  _ exactly  _ how goofy it sounds and tones it down. It feels so good to hear it again after their long separation. “Not so scared now huh?”

“Still scared,” Steve admits. “Not as such as before.” And to prove his point, he takes hold of Tony’s hand and presses it onto his chest, palm flat. He wants Tony to feel how hard his heart is beating, how fast it’s racing. And that it’s all Tony; that’s the effect Tony has on him.

Tony’s eyes linger on their hands for a long few seconds before he peeks up. “This is a bad idea.”

“Maybe. We won’t know ‘till we try. Right?”

“I hurt you.”

“I hurt you too. Doesn’t mean I loved you any less.”

Oh the bloom of color that births in Tony’s cheeks. Steve wants to lean forward and kiss the color in the hopes that it spreads over the rest of Tony’s tanned face. Then he realizes, oh. He  _ can _ . So Steve does. Sure enough, the color spreads. Tony looks, for the lack of a better word, adorable (made more so by his vaguely put-off expression, which makes Steve smile harder).

“Hey,” Steve murmurs, giving Tony’s hand a warm squeeze. “You know how I feel about you. But what about you?”

Steve can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen Tony Stark flustered. He gets to add one more occasion to that list right now. Tony’s mouth does an odd wriggle like he doesn’t know what kind of expression to make before it finally settles into something petulant and pouty. 

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“Well, you haven’t said.” Steve’s a bit of an ass, what can he say. 

“I  _ kissed  _ you!”

“That’s not the same thing as telling me how you feel.”

“It’s on the same level!”

The bubble of happiness that’s been swelling inside his chest has grown to the point it takes up all of him. Steve feels twice his size and can’t stop grinning. His smile just grows and grows because he can’t remember the last time they bantered like this only this time  _ Tony likes him!  _ And Tony’s smiling at him and how can Steve not smile back?

With an exaggerated exasperated exhale, Tony playfully grumbles, “I don’t even know why I like you.”

And pop. There goes the bubble. Steve wants to look down at his feet to make sure he hasn’t floated away in happiness honestly because that. That admission right there? Worth three times its weight in gold. Giddily, Steve pulls Tony in for a hug and whispers in his hair, “I don’t care. I’m just glad you do.”

There some kind of scuffle happening somewhere but Steve doesn’t pay it any mind. It’s not important. What’s important is to commit the feel of Tony to his memory. The shape of him in Steve’s arms. The soft spice of Tony’s cologne. The wispy softness of Tony’s hair. Steve squeezes Tony’s waist and waits for Tony to say something.

The last thing he expects is for Tony to yelp a split second before  _ something  _ nips Steve in the ankles. Starting at the same time makes the couple knock against each other and stumble a couple of feet back. 

“Fucking-  _ Alpine _ !” Bucky hisses from the end of the hallway. The fluffy white cat ignores his owner, instead sashays past the surprised couple and towards the front door. “I’m not letting you out! Don’t you fucking try it!”

It’s on the tip of Steve’s tongue to ask, try what? But then Alpine stretches up on his hind legs and grabs the door handle. He’s pawing at it when Bucky yells at them, “Grab him before he opens the door!”

Tony and him move as one, almost knocking their heads together as they make to grab the white cat at the same time. Steve pulls back just in time, focusing instead on making sure the door is closed and locked while Tony ducks down to grab the cat.

“You’re leveling up in intelligence  _ and  _ being an asshole at the same time. That’s a feat,” Tony tells the put-out cat. “I guess pets really do reflect their owners.”

Steve chokes on his laughter when he sees Bucky being obvious torn on whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. Tony just grins and hands the cat over to Bucky before turning back to Steve. There’s a bashful tint to his smile and voice when he asks, “You wanna hang out here for a while? We could... go out to grab a bite to eat after we’re done.”

“I’d love that.” Steve beams at Tony, happiness compounding when Tony grins back.

**Author's Note:**

> (Was _everyone_ eavesdropping on that conversation and not paying attention to Alpine which is how he wound up in the hallway and made Tony and Steve stumble? Yes. Yes they were. If this going to be all the Avengers group chat gonna talk about for the next 48 hours? You bet your ass it is!)


End file.
